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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE:THE UNTOLD STORY OF ENGR. CHINYERE SYLVIA AKALEME (NEE IGBO)

The menace of Domestic violence in Nigeria and it’s implications on the families of the victims.

              Late Engr Sylvia

Unfortunately for Sylvia or Chinyere as she was fondly called by family and close friends, she did not live to tell her own story. She was cut down in her prime by the man she loved till death did them part Obinna Akaleme, her husband. She died on the day she was due to give birth after series of miscarriages in her husband’s house.

 Obinna Akaleme the husband

A brief biography of the victim

Chinyere Sylvia Akaleme (nee Igbo) was born on 27 april 1981 into the family of Mr and Mrs Reginald Chiaka Igbo. The second child and 1st daughter of the  family with six other siblings, Sylvia was raised in a middle-class Catholic family residing in Ajao estate, lagos where she had her nursery, primary and secondary education. She was a very bright pupil and her position in class never went below the top three. She gained admission into the university of Ilorin in Kwara state where she read electrical engineering and graduated with second class honours. She started a career in information technology and quickly got several professional qualifications including sisco into her academic profile. She started her working career with Karox computers  before moving on to reliance info systems ltd where she became a product and sales manager

.sylvia at work

 

Her last job was with the Wini group, an Ikeja based corporation.

 

In 2012 she met and married Obinna Akaleme a farmer/ chef/ kitchen assistant and thus began her journey to an untimely death in the hands of the man she loved so much and catered for. She died on the on the 29th of march 2017 and she was committed to mother earth at the Ikoyi cemetery on the 19th of july 2017.

Engr sylvia is survived by her aged grandmother, her parents, siblings, uncles, aunties, nephews and nieces. May her gentle soul rest in peace, Amen.

 

What Happened?

Her parents and siblings never knew Chinyere endured several years of abuse in the hands of the man she called a husband. She assumed the role of a typical Nigerian wife who must always display a non-existent happiness in a marriage filled with sadness and regrets. The only clue about what happened to her during her over five years of marriage was the account of the neighbors who narrated how on a particular night Obinna her husband beat her up and she ran to their landlords house for safety. Also the little girl who lived with her revealed that Chinyere warned her not to tell her parents that her husband used to beat her up even while she was over eight months pregnant.sylvia and a friend at an event

 

That explained the reason behind the series of miscarriages she had before her last pregnancy which was full term. Her parents got worried that their daughter had about four miscarriages in less than four years decided to take her to come stay with them when she took-in after her eight month old miscarriage. She lived peacefully with her parents and her pregnancy advanced with Chinyere in good health and high spirits anticipating the birth of her child. Unfortunately for her, on her due date, Obinna, her husband came to pick her up from her father’s house at 10 am to the hospital and as a dutiful wife she was, she obeyed him and went with him. According to the doctor, the mother and the baby were confirmed healthy on arrival and Doctor asked her to go get her bag in preparation for delivery that evening. Obinna took Chinyere to their matrimonial home. Sadly for Chinyere, he got into an argument with her over money, beat her up so badly and left her unconscious in the house. He left the house and switched off his phone and her phone so no one could reach them. He left her in the house and every attempt made to reach them was futile. He later returned and took her to the hospital when he discovered she was dying at about 4.30pm and did not deem it fit to contact her parents or siblings, he did this so as not to run the risk of her coming out of coma and telling her family her ordeal at the hands of her husband, it is also worthy to note that the hospital were she died is less than a hundred metres from her parent’s house. Obinna eventually came to her parents house around 8.30pm to tell them she had passed on. Further findings from her siblings and the doctor’s confirmation revealed that Chinyere was brought to the hospital lifeless (practically dead). The doctor decided to do a cesarean session to try and save the baby but it was all in vain

.sylvia’s lying in state

 

sylvia’s daughter

 

Sylvia and her daughter laid to rest

 

 

Chinyere’s sad story is one among millions of Nigerian women who fall victim to sexual and emotional predators because they want to be accepted by the society at large . They hide their ordeal from the very people that can rescue them. Their families. Women nowadays​ pretend that they are in happy marriages even when the obvious signs says otherwise. For how long will we keep up with this trend of pretending all is well when it obviously isn’t? Must we live a lie for societal acceptance? Let’s come together and say no to domestic violence and spousal abuse. There are many families like Chinyere’s who wish their children had remained single and lived with them instead of getting married and killed by their partners. Enough is enough!

84 comments

  1. Very sad story, may her soul rest in peace and may d guy not go unpunished.

  2. Women sef. Na by force to marry. Even when beating is involved dem go remain. May her soul rest in peace.

  3. I can’t believe that some women are still this docile, staying in a marriage where they are beaten. Even animals will run away from cruelty from their owners. Marriage should be an equal partnership, also should be for better ,for better.

    Men like this should be locked up in a cage in the bottom of the ocean.

    A word of advice to unmarried women. If your fiance/ boyfriend/ partner has started displaying any form of violence, the likelihood is that it will get worse once he has paid your bride prize ( in some sick men’s mind, they believe they have bought you).
    Then I will suggest that you rethink that relationship at that stage.

    May God help us all.

  4. Painful May their gentle soul Rest in perfect peace

  5. Such a wasted life and good potentials.May her gentle soul find eternal rest in the bossom of the lord. But on a serious note that devil in disguise should be in jail by now.
    Ladies lets have that picture of the monster in our head so we could tell all our relatives about him,because he will go for another woman.

  6. Ooh God
    Am speechless
    Rip Dear chinyere

  7. My father’s first grand daughter,rest in peace n may Obinna nva knw peace or hear d cry of a baby in his life,he will continue to live a miserable life all his dayz in Jesus name

  8. This is very sad,how can the so called husband be this wicked to be at her to death not minding she was heavily pregnant.Now that he has killed her, let him enjoy.

  9. Hmm name wa oo! What happened to the man? Is he not going to face the law?

  10. It’s sadonic. The man is worst than Lucifer & should be thrown into the darkest part of hell. Any day he thinks of remarrying, God’ll snuff life out of him. A chef for dat matter, married to an Engineer.

  11. This is very bad.

  12. May that man never hear the cry of a baby in his life, may his life be so miserably that he will beg for death & he won’t see, May the departed souls rest in the bossom of the lord

  13. It is true with the saying that the grave is ful of l potentials not well utilised or fully achieved their purpose.Chiyere’s case is a good example of the saying. Her destiny is totally wasted through marriage.
    For Christ sake, she should have spoken out.
    Here husband is rather callous, he should be kept away in prison for life so he doesn’t continue getting women killed by getting married again .

  14. I can’t believe this, my darling sweet Sylvia, we were room mates for 3 sessions at Unilorin. This is really sad. Now I understand why she was distant. RIP dear Sis.

  15. So sad , God thank you for saving me from dis men called animal husbandry
    Not husband. Women should learn from this and men too. God rest her soul, amen. NNE jee nkeoma

  16. Kaiiii..hw can a man be so wicked??
    RIP Sis.

  17. Sylvia, our gentle and easy going faculty mate at the university of Ilorin. She just doesn’t deserve a kind of man like this. She should have walked away. May her soul rest well.

  18. Engr Adeyemi Jonathan

    Sylvia was the most gentle among my course mates at Unilorin two decades ago. I was privileged to stay in the same class with her for five years studying electrical Engineering. A quiet, articulate and loving lady. May your husband have no rest and the mercy of the Lord will be far from him. Women should learn from this please. Marriage is not by force. Rest on my friend and course mate, Sylvia.

  19. Obinna should be sentenced to death by torture and hanging.

  20. What a sad story, may the soul of the faithful departed rest in peace. ..AMEN

  21. May her soul find peace. The igbo nation should rise up for its women. It’s very rampant in that area and that shows there is something wrong. That mentality of I cannot leave my husband because it doesn’t happen in our area is what put her in that condition.

  22. In most cases of Domestic violence, what I’ve noticed is that it happens mostly in marriages where the wife is doing better than the husband financially( may b d man is not working and the woman is the bread winner of the house).

    • U have said it all

    • It is simply a man’s insecurity. I will categorise them into 2 – men who are insecure because the wife is better and women who are totally dependent on their husbands for everything.

      Both sides should just please walk away. Death should not be an option

  23. So sad, but the society especially parents want their daughters to stay in an abused relationship & continue to preach stay cause of your children & what people around will say. Saying Let’s continue to pray for him & all sorts. Giving u 1001 reasons to remain. I pray God gives me the courage to walk away from the monster I live with.

    • My dear u can if u want to. I did oo. Mine beat me , put his hands around my neck trying to choke me. All dis happnd in front of my kids oo. I had to leave but I made sure my siblings gave him d beating of his life before I left with my kids. Its not easy but I’d rather be single n alive than be die in marriage biko.

    • Dear sikemi, you don’t deserve to live in bondage. Save your self 1st before you think of saving a marriage with a lunatic. Think about your loved ones and people that truly care. Walk away from that man or report him to the right authorities.

    • Sikemi, please walk away from that marriage. Leave while you can still walk. You have a bright future, don’t let any man truncate that. Please leave. I beg you in the name of God.

    • ZERO TOLERANCE TO ALL FORMS OF ABUSE!

    • Leave now! Since you’ve agreed you live with a monster. You dont need courage, you said it all. Leave o

  24. My question is:: where is dis fool of a man…in fact a boy…..???
    One sign of violence is enough to gerrout of d marriage…. God forbid devil in my life….
    I love my life dan to b used as a sad experience…. Rip chichi

  25. Wao! Such a sad story with a sad end. RIP chi. RIP innocent angel. God help the family and all the abused. May the abusers never know peace..amen!

  26. God wil punish those monster men dat beat their wives and Obinna will pay for this. Rip chi.

  27. Soooo sad ,may the soul rest in peace

  28. Marriage no be by force o, in case of our parents wey dey carry am for their head. Just imagine a life wasted in the name of marriage. I tire .

  29. Mr Akaleme is a very handsome man, i think that was one of the reasons that informed Sylvia’s choice of him as a husband.
    However, i least expect a man like him to treat his equally beautiful and brilliant wife in the way and manner that he did. All that glitters is not gold. Sisters please note.

    • I believe her reason for sticking against all odds was far from that. I knew this lady back in the university days, Unilorin. She was a year my senior but we were very close. She was a very very beautiful lady. That kind of pretty lady with soft voice and innocent aura. I had a very strong crush on her but were just good friends. Her name then was Sylvia Igbo. I didn’t know at what point I lost her contact.

      She was a lady the best of men will love to have as a wife. She must have had great men around her. But she fell in love with a devil of a man.

      But you know sometimes beauty works against timely marriage; otherwise she should have married much earlier. This is my suspicion.

      Its very sad and unfortunate I get to know of her again in this manner.

      May her soul rest in peace.

      I’m a man and I always tell people there is no wisdom enduring through an abusive relationship. Your husband/boyfriend (wife/girlfriend) shouldn’t have a second chance to physically abuse you.

      • My dear, what an emotional account of her you gave. It shows you truly knew her and she was truly an angel as your narrative goes. May she find rest in the Lord Almighty. Note, also that the most lethal marital experience is emotional torture. No communication, no love, no committment, no assistance, no appreciation, pride filled life. What is worse than these? Silent killer!!!!!!! May God help any spouse going through these.

        • Hmm, there are worst case of domestic abuse,other than beating or physical assault, the emotional one is the worst. God help our women.

          • I suffered an emotional one. That is even worse than physical because you don’t have a clue that it is affecting u mentally and in other ways till it is almost too late. You think you are handling it well but na lie. It can also cause problems like hypertension, Autoimmune diseases, depression, etc, I thank God for giving me the brains and courage to walk out. Even though I got a lot of medical issues I know God is in control. My brethren na Ghana man do me this oh. So no be only naija men dey abuse women.

          • Are you kidding??!! Emotional cant be worse than physical,comon! Does the emotional end in death? Worse case depression, not death! For pete’s sake stop minimizing her death!

  30. ….shedding tears for her & d baby

  31. Nnatu odinaka lucz

    I still have someone ,d husband beat nonsense out of her, even to d extend d husband mother called d girl mother to go pick their daughter and d new born baby she refuse oooooo say wetin d mama want make neighbours talk,dem use bus karri dis babe she rush back wit d baby back to d husbands house,she said another lady will come and over take her marriage.now d guy’s mother has warned d girl’s mother DAT if the girl dies, dey shouldn’t call her cos she is off her sons case and girls case,dis lady and dis my elder sis Friend bears d same name I wish she is Reading dis

    • Dear Odinaka, if you know someone or people that are victims of an abusive marriage and domestic violence, kindly share Sylvia’s bitter experience with them. All though she didn’t live to tell her own story, we’re telling it for her and our aim is to save as many lives as possible, by exposing Obinna and his cohorts and make sure that Justice is served. Save a soul and share our story. Cheers

  32. Abeg where d man dey?…. The idiot should die too…. Feeling so sad now…. Chai

  33. Oh my God!!! Sylvia is gone? Did NYC together in Ogun state. SAY NO TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

  34. Chai,why did I read this story this night now,it has really changed my body system, my mood and I’m so sad..I can’t even eat,. Is this how wicked some men have become? Pregnant woman in labour pain? Chai! Where are the “hear d other side of the story”?
    May the spirit of this woman and her daughter torment this man till he runs into a moving car and meets his own untimely death..

  35. Dat is d result of not going 4 mental evaluation, we Africans believe it is mad people dat goes 2 mental home, many men deserve 2 visit der regularly in order not 2 run mad. Women, don’t pretend until it is late, marriage is not by force, it is better d world hate u & u live 2 tell ur story Dan 2 die trying 2 cover a dead & failed marriage.So sorry mother& child. RIP

  36. Oh my God! A woman still keeping quite about domestic violence in this 21st century? Please women, let us upgrade, build our confidence and let our voices be heard. Attend seminars, workshops, read books and listen to radio and television programs, these will educate, enlighten and build our self worth. May her soul rest in perfect peace.

    • I expect a lawyer to step up and assist the family get justice for late Chinyere and Baby. This is wasting destinies and the Nigerian society cannot have the beastly obinna roam about to destroy another soul

  37. If this lady were to be my sister I swear,that devilish man will be in the mortuary by now.

  38. TheAreaDoctor Blog

    Just when we think we’ve heard it all. Hmm

  39. May her soul rest in peace Amen…. It’s so sad that at this time and age some ladies/woman allow themselves to be battered to the point where they won’t live to tell their stories. Gone are the days when they say marriages are for better or worse. If you are in any relationship you’re been beaten or abused, walk away alive when you still can. To hell with what the society or church think or say….. You’re better off alive….. Don’t give in to desperation…the so called husband might never be prosecuted. To the girl’s family…. Don’t let that guy go unpunished …. Kidnap him…. Torture him bit by bit….. Make him beg for death……or the position where he can take his own life….so that another innocent woman won’t fall a victim…. Stupid man… May God punish him to death……

  40. Oh! Am speechless, what a wicked soul. RIP mummy and daughter

  41. WOW! sylvia??? This is so so sad, my heart burns, am in tears. i remember my first time in karrox after their scholarship exams 2007. despite the scholarship discount, the money was much for a struggling family like ours ”i was 19 at the time’. so i brought my mum to sylvia, so as to persuade my mum into paying the fees. my mum was charmed by sylvia’s personality and the air around her in general. she even joked i know my son is taking this course so he can come here to droll over you (true indeed). she further joked; ‘don’t look at him like a small boy oo, he is going to do big things in life so please be gentle with him’. i would look at her, and tell myself i need to succeed and grow up a man quickly before someone marries this beautiful lady.

    its funny but crushing on her lead me into the IT industry, which led to a journey outside Nigerian shores, thus becoming very valuable to my family. i remember my last meeting with her when collecting my OCP certificate before departing Nigeria. i told her; i did this course because of you, don’t go marrying yourself away quickly because i am coming back to marry you. we joked about the age difference and the whole karrox was laughing at the nerve i had. i have always wondered what happened to you Sylvia. my heart burns.. ahh Sylvia!!!!! sun re ooooo!! am so so so sad!

  42. Wow! What a wasted talent.

  43. For the sake of the dignity of the dead please will you consider taking down the pictures of her corpse? May the souls of the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace. May God who sees all that happens in secret be the judge and hand down justice. Have mercy on us all o lord. Darling Chinyere. We will never forget you.

    • You’d have to talk to her family about taking down the pictures. I only told their story from their own point of view. Thank you.

    • there is no dignity in death. the family made her lie in state so the whole world could see what a man did to their daughter. they allowed this picture to be taken for a reason. maybe this sad story might save another woman’s life. may their innocent and gentle souls rest in peace.

  44. Obinna to think that I knew you while growing up disgusts me.
    To think that you re my brother’s friends annoys me. Obinna Akaleme , you’re a vile man. You will rot in jail.. oloriburuku

  45. May her soul rest in peace.but for me the story is somehow unbelievable.what was she trying to protect at the point of death.she was beaten almost to death by a man,she was calling the man that switched his phone off.what happened to her parents phone,why did she not call her parents?at least to save her life and that of her baby,s.

  46. Its so sad the evil man,nemesis will catch up with him and his own will be worst ,devil in human form,God will punish u on earth and in hell,humanity will hate and punish u more,sadist

  47. May her soul rest in peace.This is very bad .The family should contact project alert on violence against women.
    Tel: 234 1 4747931, 01-8980834, Tel/Fax: 234 1 4962302, Mobile: 234 (0) 802 333 0981 Emails:baobab@baobabwomen.org; baobabwomen@yahoo.com

  48. Haven gone through this very sad story and all the comments,I am of the opinion that an aspect might have been left out. Could this evil Obinna have done this to fulfil a ritual which was to ensure she doesn’t give birth to a child for him?
    It may sound strange and I am not writing a movie script here. Think about the miscarriages when she was with him. Compare that to the full term when she was with her parents before the devil showed up at full term. Huuuuuuun, this calls for deep thinking. Women beware!

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